dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
