in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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