I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
