we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
