Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Porn is love you can see.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
