i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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