If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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