And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
