i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
