But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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