nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
