No awkward lesbian experiences without me
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
