No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
