I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
