no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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