He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize