"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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