My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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