My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
