Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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