i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So apparently I’m into choking now
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