Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
