glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
