I look better un-naked...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
wow bdsm is so cute
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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