Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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