a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
