I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
