What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
