This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Betty ford says i'm here all night
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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