I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
