Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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