So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
