I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
