what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
