I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
