i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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