we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
