dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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