he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
