Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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