Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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