thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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