I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
