Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
