ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
