I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
