So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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