I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
