No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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