On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
