Little spoons don't ask big questions
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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