The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
This house was built for laser tag.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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